One of my favorite
works by Rilke is a short poem he wrote in his early twenties. Rilke published
the untitled poem, “If only once it would be completely still…” in his first
important collection, The Book of Hours,
actually a series of three books he wrote in the persona of a Russian monk
speaking directly to God. In the late nineteenth century, many artists and
intellectuals, inspired by the works of the great novelist Leo Tolstoy, looked to Russia as the wellspring of spiritual authenticity.
Here’s a very free translation I did of the Rilke poem, keeping fairly close to the original rhyme scheme. The German original follows:
If only once it would be completely
still.
If that “Almost!” and “Why me?” will
just this once fall silent—and the
laughter
next door—if my
whirring senses didn’t keep after
me, hobbling me from watching as I
ought—:
Then in a thousand-faceted thought
I could think every one of your
features
and possess you (as my smile cranks
wide open), to give you to all
living creatures
like a thanks.
(translation © 2012 by Zack Rogow)
Wenn es nur einmal so ganz stille
wäre.
Wenn das Zufällige und Ungefähre
verstummte und das nachbarliche
Lachen,
wenn das Geräusch, das meine Sinne
machen,
mich nicht so sehr verhinderte am
Wachen—:
Dann könnte ich in einem
tausendfachen
Gedanken bis an deinen Rand dich
denken
und dich besitzen (nur ein Lächeln
lang),
um dich an alles Leben zu
verschenken
wie einen Dank.
In this short poem
Rilke attempts nothing less than a consciousness beyond everyday life. Then
he turns that meditative openness into a compassion for all living creatures. For
a poem spoken by a Christian monk, it’s a surprisingly Buddhist notion,
especially for Europe in 1899, when this poem was published.
Rilke accomplishes
these transformations partly by changing the very sound of the German language.
We often think of German as being the language of the Kommandant barking rough
and harsh orders. Rilke softens the syllables of German in this poem until the
words feel almost whispered. No other German I’ve heard approaches this silkiness,
except the magic spells in the fairy tales told by the Brothers Grimm.
Try listening to
the poem in German. There are several YouTube versions of it, but this is my
favorite. Ignore the schmaltzy background music.
In this ten-line
poem, Rilke finds numerous ways to use the “ch” combination in German, an
aspirated sound that is gentle and tender, using it three times in the space of
two words: das nachbarliche Lachen—
“the laughter next door.” He uses the “ch” three times again in the phrase dich denken/und dich besitzen (nur ein
Lächeln lang): literally—“to think you/and possess you (only as long as a
smile lasts).”
Wherever in this
poem he uses a hard consonant sound like a “t” or a “k,” he almost always
pillows it with a softer consonant before, such as an “s” or an “r” or an “n,”
and follows it afterwards with a buffering vowel, an “e” or sometimes an “i”
that prevents a hard landing, as in these words: stille, verhinderte, denken, verschenken. A translator can do
little to imitate this command of language except to mention it in a note like
this. I have tried to mirror the
rhymes in my translation, another aspect of the poem’s spell-like language.
The soothing
language Rilke uses builds surprisingly to a moment where the speaker talks to
God using the intimate “du” pronoun. In a turn right out of the Baroque linking
of the spiritual and sensual, like Bernini’s erotic-spiritual altar, The Ecstasy of Saint Theresa, the
speaker of Rilke’s poem says he wants to possess God like a lover.
Writers can learn
from this poem that even the sound of our language is not a given. A poet or
prose writer can mold language, transfigure it, like a sculptor moving clay. The
states of mind that we are taught are normal are not a given either. Rilke
shows us we can also change those through writing.
Other recent posts about writing topics:Learning from Rilke, Part 2: "Archaic Torso of Apollo"; Rilke's "Autumn Day"
Other recent posts about writing topics:Learning from Rilke, Part 2: "Archaic Torso of Apollo"; Rilke's "Autumn Day"
Rilke has always been one of my favorite poets. Thanks for this translation and the explanation of his softening of the German language. I would not have known of the subtleties you describe.
ReplyDeleteTeresa
Teresa: I'm glad you also like Rilke. Sometimes I find him completely enlightening, other times I worry about his distance from the world of human emotion, but his work is always engaging.
ReplyDeleteZack