The Problem with Books

Let’s face it, books are a problem. They smell funny when they age, like old people. They take up too much space, and you have to keep buying shelves for them. Books are electromagnets for dust, and you can’t even throw them in the wash.

When you move, books are a nuisance to take with you. You have to go all around the neighborhood rounding up cartons for them, which turn out to be too heavy to lift once you’ve packed them. Then you have to haul them upstairs. After all that, you know you’ll never read them. They’re just decoration. Is it really worth it?

If they’re library books, you have to remember to bring them back on time, or you wind up accumulating such large fines that you could have bought the book twice over.

When you come right down to it, most books are depressing, if not outright morbid. Especially the so-called “classics.” When you buy a book, you’re paying good money to give yourself the blues. Treat yourself to a spa instead, get a facial, go out to the latest restaurant, or splurge on a pair of shoes you won’t wear everyday. You’ll be a happier person.

            Maybe if you could plug them in and recharge them, books would be good for something. They don’t have buttons to press, they don’t light up or make noises, you have to keep turning those darn pages, and they don’t look up difficult words in the dictionary for you. They’re not even searchable. What good are they?

The other problem with books is that they’re so hard to forget. Now a good sitcom—you’re done with it and it’s over, like a hot shower. A book stays with you, even when you wish you could forget it.

            Personally, I don’t think anyone should be allowed to read a book in public. Books distract from important things, like ads. In essence, books are anti-social. Yeah, books are a big problem. You never know what people might be thinking when they’re reading a book.

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Getting the Most from Your Writing Workshop
How Not to Become a Literary Dropout
Putting Together a Book Manuscript
Working with a Writing Mentor
How to Deliver Your Message
Does the Muse Have a Cell Phone?
Why Write Poetry? 
Poetic Forms: Introduction; The Sonnet, The Sestina, The Ghazal, The Tanka

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